I Wish I Was a Jesuit

When someone says, “You’re only taking four classes? What do you do all day?”

I’m like:

When My Professor Tried To Call Me Out For Being Late To My 8:15 Class

I was like:

When I Went To Tricoci Because Someone Told Me Their Haircuts Were Cheap

It was pretty much like:

And when my friends saw my haircut, they were like:

When My Friend And I Haven’t Done The Reading And The Professor Calls On One Of Us

We’re just like:

When I’m In Line For The Shuttle At WTC And Everyone’s Pushing To Get Through The Doors At Once

I Just Feel Like:

When I’m The First One To Be Dropped Off In A Full 8-Ride Van, But I’m Sitting Way In The Back

I try to maneuver smoothly around everyone else like:

But I usually just end up tripping on someone’s backpack and doing this:

When I Take The “L” Home After A Night Out In Wrigleyville

I’m Just Like:

When I Take 8-Ride Drunk And Decide To Become Best Friends With The Driver

I’m Just Like:

When I Go To Simpson And None Of The Food Looks Edible

I’m Just Like:

When It’s Above 50 Degrees In March

Everyone Flocks To The Beach Like: